If your kids have done nothing wrong then you have nothing to be concerned about. The policy may seem draconian but the facts speak for themselves. There hasn't been a single major terrorist attack carried out by any Cambridge infant since the scheme began. In fact militancy amongst Cambridge infants seems broken and their leaders seem intent now on the ballot-box rather than the bullet, negotiation rather than rebellion. Acquiescence may soon replace consent.

Apache gunships have been dispatched to the resistance hold-out of Trumpington day-care centre when Lisa Hinton, the pig-tailed 'butcher of Barton', was recently videoed beheading a jelly baby. But how many thousands were trained at the militant Cambridge madrassas only to return as 'sleepers' leading a double-life in peaceful sleepy villages around Cambridgeshire?

Trained in sabotage, resisting interrogation and formulating dissent with their peers - even their own family members often don't have an inkling of their planning. The average Cambridge schoolchild's satchel could pack enough S*mtex to wipe out Jamie Oliver's restaurant and they know it.